So your child is ready for school. Did you get teary-eyed as you watch him walk through the school gates or the classroom doors? You are not alone. Letting go is really hard.
We were lucky, we were given these 3 simple steps by a very wise lady:
- Put myself at ease because my son is in good hands,
- Let my husband bring my little boy to school, just the two of them
- Let go and feel with certainty that he will be all right.
Chances are if you are sending your first born to school for the first time, your child may not be the only one experiencing separation anxiety. It would be great if he goes to a school that will allow you to sit in until he gets accustomed to the new experience.
The first year of my son, Juan, we were enrolled in the Parent-toddler class of Manila Waldorf. If you are anything like me, you are one of those super-involved moms whose children are her whole universe. So I felt this “break-in” period was really for me rather for Juan, and I was thankful.
On his formal entry to kindergarten, that’s when we really had a hard time. I found myself in the classroom again for two weeks. After the two week period there will still be a bit of crying, apparently he was as attached to me as I was to him. I just stayed around the school so he knows I’m around. But, after 2 months, when he was supposed to be settled already, he would cry his heart as soon as they close the classroom doors. I was so confused why we were back to square one.
It was a good thing that one of the founders of the school, Tita Bella Tan, a very wise teacher, saw the entire thing. She then, with great tact, suggested those 3 steps.
Apparently, what I forgot to consider was when I bring him to school, I always bring my youngest, Maria. To him, the situation is seen as, “why can my sister stay with my nanay and why not me?” … Duuhhh. Thank goodness, someone was there to see it with fresh eyes and wisdom.
So, it was worth a shot, the day after my husband brought him to school and he went in the classroom with just a few protests. By day 2, no more tears. By the end of the week, he goes down the car by himself and tells his father he can leave him already!
I believe it’s not merely the act of having my husband take him to school alone, it has a lot to do with my letting go and feeling of confidence that he is all right. Children not only hear our words but they most importantly feel our emotions and even our thoughts. I have experienced this again and again, especially during my most trying times, Juan would be so out of sorts and cry at the slightest things for no apparent reason. He would only become his usual self, once I realize it and collect myself again.
Sometimes we just really have to believe in our children and let go. How else can they build trust in themselves, if we can not trust them ourselves.
Have you ever had that experience when you feel your child sensed your thoughts and feelings more than you tried to show?
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Tags: school