My kids went to a children’s party at a very familiar place for most kids. This time the favorite mascots were out on full force. But why isn’t my little girl too happy about it?
In fact, a few weeks later, she still tells me in a hurt tone that I left her and she could see the “characters” (that’s what she calls the mascots). I actually left her with her grandma while I try to help my sister-in-law get their family pictures taken, but to her of course, that doesn’t count,sigh…
If I wasn’t that aware how a child’s sensibilities are really vulnerable, I would have brushed it off, like any normal parent, right? In fact, what I would have probably done in that situation is to physically pick her up and take a picture with the mascots so she would “learn” to get over her fear. Then I’d be so proud when she’s not afraid anymore, right?
But do we really “teach” them to get over their fear? or make them more afraid, (but this time, its hidden deep inside)?
Is it making them grow up? or are we just disensitizing them (to distinguish certain things)?
Are mascots really that cute? or a distortion of the human form (in the eyes of a child even appear as monsters)?
I’m sure that would fill a lifetime of debate even for psychologists, psychiatrists, and child development experts, and they still would not agree on one thing.
As a parent, everyday we are faced with situations we just take in stride. Nothing really fazes us that much nowadays except for the really monumental events, like Cory’s death, or huge calamities, like Ondoy.
That’s when we stop. Examine our actions. Then make a decision, resolution or just become aware.
But everyday, we are on auto-pilot, wouldn’t you agree? Most of the time, its the same with parenting. Most of the time, if its the fad, if everyone is doing it, it must be great for my kid, right?
But, actually, when it comes to kids, we need to be more aware of the things we do. How many of you can still remember something really frightening when you were kids? How many of you had nightmares because of it? How many of you now think that its so trivial, so funny and even lame that you were afraid?
Now, how many of you think, that just because you think its funny, trivial and lame now, that those nightmares and fears when you were kids were worth it?
I am not saying mascots are bad and kids should not be around them, what I am saying is, we need to take the cue from our kids. If they are afraid of them, then they are afraid. If not, then that is just as well… though there’s a whole study of the effects of mascots, characters, etc. in Steiner philosophy if you would be interested to check it out.
But for us, for now, we will be limiting our presence from fun-filled-mascot-happy children’s parties…
In time she will get over seeing them as huge, overwhelming-bright-and-big smiley-faces stuff of her nightmares, and just see these “characters” as just mascots and it was funny, trivial and lame to be even afraid of them.
For now, when we go to parties she would not feel the need to hide. For now, its fine that she’s afraid.
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Very interesting perspective on children’s fears. I have to agree that sometimes there is an oversight with parents what kids are actually communicating. As a parent myself, its best to take time to read “cues” on what our kids are trying to convey and we make necessary corrective action. Failure to this may scar a child for life.